inside.out.my.soul

The Final Semester

2012-01-16T06:49:00.001+08:00

ألسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Alhamdulillah.

2011 is a history and 2012 is waiting for a new journey.

This going to be the last semester of my final year before completing my degree, insyaAllah. Time has passed, quickly if I may say it is. It feels as if I've only arrived in Edinburgh yesterday.

I am preparing myself to bid farewell to this land. The land that changed me significantly, and still constantly changing my perspective upon things I take for granted before.

Well, moving on to my winter break. I was back in Malaysia last month, to celebrate my sister's engagement. Alhamdulillah, everything went well and as planned.

My sister looked gorgeous on that day and I am so happy for her. InsyaAllah, may Allah make it easy for her to get married this year. And yes, a week to go before I have my siblings coming to town. =)

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

Surah Ar-Rum : The Romans (30:21)

Where is the Forgiveness, Brothers and Sisters?

2011-10-23T05:58:00.001+08:00

ألسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

20th of October 2011, marked as a very infamous historical date : A dictator killed by his own people - shamefully.

My sincere personal view disapproved the way he's being treated. Immorality. I see no difference in what had been portrayed by Gaddafi (if it is true that he was an evil, heartless dictator) with the people who kicked and punched him to death. Where is the sympathy? Where is the Muslim who uphold justice, truth and dignity? I do not see the triumph of winning against a fragile, effortless, lying dead body on the ground over hundreds of people. While the conspiracies and stories of hatred being covered by the mainstream medias, there is one kingdom that mourns of his death - one at least. The Toro Kingdom. And remember, who are we to judge what was inside him and his intention of fighting till the end; perhaps for his nation or his religion. Allah knows best and all we can do is to pray for his soul to be blessed and be among the good ones. Let's forgive as Allah loves those who forgive and the ability to forget will be a blessing/gift from Allah. Remember, Allah is Al Ghaffar, Al Ghafur and Al Hakam.

Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;- (Ali 'Imran - 3:134 )

Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint,- none but persons of the greatest good fortune. ( Fussilat - 41:34 and 35 )

Fear, Hope and Love

2011-10-01T06:12:00.004+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

My Iman is trembling.

As...

I am a hungry man. Thirsty for a sip of Iman. Hunger for food to the soul.

It is time to gear up my engine again.

I want to be close to You.

I want to submit to You with Fear, Hope and Love.

Eid Mubarak + Milky Way

2011-09-03T01:19:00.002+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Eid Mubarak everyone.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Maaf Zahir & Batin!

Alhamdulillah, this year I got the opportunity to celebrate Eid with my family for a week longer.

These past few days, I have been thinking of travelling to Spain. To catch the beautiful nights of milky way at its highest point. But, it requires a very intensive training in the gym and hopefully, I will adhere to the routine. Slightly lower than Mount Kinabalu, I truly wish to be there to see with my naked eyes of the beautiful stars that this galaxy owns.

One of the reactions goes :

"There are things in this world that do not need any words. This video captures some of them,"

Sadness & Eid

2011-08-26T15:25:00.002+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I seldom find myself in sadness. But it is starting to hit me every now and then these past few weeks. I force myself to smile and sometimes I couldn't stop my tears from bursting. Too many things come at one go and I am entirely clueless of them all.

I just need someone to lend me a shoulder for me to lean on. And Alhamdulillah, I have my parents by my side. The best thing to do at the moment is to stay strong and tawakal.

As Eid-ul-Fitr is nearing, a whole lot of us is busy preparing for the festivities but as for yours truly, I am less prepared this year. I want to take it as easy and simple as possible. I want to taste the beauty of celebrating it with the less fortunate, indulge in the hardship they go through and search for happiness in the middle of poverty. That to sum them up is to taste the other side's flavor of Eid, insyaAllah.

Last but not least, I hope it is still not too late to wish you Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin sincerely , from the bottom of my heart. Forgive me for any mistakes and wrongdoings and I pray that we all have a blessed Eid together. May Allah grant our du'a. Amin.

Harta

2011-08-20T23:39:00.005+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Harta. Ada apa dengan harta?

Dahulu, di zaman tuan punya muda remaja, tuan punya selalu impikan kekayaan berlipat ganda. Betapa hidup ini terlalu disogokkan dengan kepentingan harta. Tanpa harta kita merana dan binasa. Aduh, ceteknya permikiran tuan punya.

Emak tuan punya pulang ke tempat kerja lama untuk menjenguk pesakit - pesakit di sana. Ada seorang teman hidup berusaha tapi jika tiada kurnia harta, mampu tersenyum redha. Emak tuan punya sungguh kagum dengan temannya yang sakit menderita tapi positif terhadap semua benda. Doa yang tajam itu digunakan sebagai senjata. Sebaik pulang ke sana, segalanya sudah bertambah sempurna. Harta itu datang sengaja dan kekayaan tidak diduga bersama jua. Itulah rezeki namanya. Hanya perlu kita percaya yang rezeki itu milik Dia dan kita hanya hamba peminjam segala yang Dia punya.

Emak juga rajin bercerita. Ilmu itu bagaikan pelita. Fardhu kifayah di dalam agama. Ilmu agama itu wajib, menjadi tuntutan setiap insan yang pelupa. Harta itu tidak membawa kemana, jika disimpan atau diguna semena-mena. Letakkan kekayaan sebagai jalan membuat pahala. Ianyakan hanya pinjaman sementara?

Katakanlah " Jika bapak - bapakmu, isteri- isterimu, saudara - saudaramu, keluargamu, harta kekayaan yang kamu khawatirkan kerugiannya, dan rumah - rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai, lebih kamu cintai dari pada Allah dan RasulNya serta berjihad di jalanNya, maka tunggulah sampai Allah memberikan keputusanNya." Dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang - orang fasik. (9:24)

Kerana itulah tuan punya sungguh takut dengan dunia. Walau kadangkala, sering saja dibuai dalam angan - angan manusia. Mahukan kereta terhebat, rumah terbesar dan wang terbanyak. Lihat? Betapa tuan punya sudah terlalu terikut dengan omongan suara dunia. Jadi jom, ringan ringankanlah tangan membersih harta, mencari berkat dalam kehidupan. Bagi yang kurang berkemampuan pula, jika harta bukan bidang kita, senyumlah. Pahala itu Allah letakkan dimana saja, hanya menunggu insan mengutip dan menggunakannya.

Ingatkan Aku

2011-08-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Hari ini aku dibukakan mata.

Mungkin aku masih tidak sekuat mana.

Tapi Ya Allah, terima kasih kerana membuka mataku sekali lagi.

Betapa aku mudah alpha, dengan duniawi yang sungguh 'sempurna'.

Aku terlupa mengejar doa.

Dan hari ini kau hantukkan kepala insan hina.

Astaghfirullah astaghfirullah.

Seakan sukar untuk percaya aku masih lupa.

Hari ini kau buktikan padaku iman manusia ada pasang surutnya.

Kau paparkan padaku bagaimana insan mampu berubah sekelip mata.

Aku.... terkedu dan membisu.

Menyelongkar bibit kata yang harus aku aturkan semula.

Subhanallah.

Allah itu Maha Kaya.

Manusia bisa bertukar tanpa diduga.

Sungguh, aku yakin pada tulisan Luh Mahfuznya.

Ramadhan Al Mubarak

2011-08-06T22:22:00.005+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I have had a great Ramadhan so far and is still waiting for more to come.

It was overwhelming to see the faces of my neighbour to perform taraweeh together. And as for my little nieces, this is the month to let them understand the essence of fasting.

I was about to perform my Asr prayer when my nieces decided to join me for jamaah. Subhanallah, they all have grown up. They do not know the full readings and recitations in salah, but God knows how proud I am to be their aunt. Yes, there are flaws here and there, but to know they have their own initiatives to join me for salah, is one of the most beautiful moment Allah could lend me.

A short sharing session with this little princesses was a funny one - about angels that are always be with them to check on their good and bad deeds has triggered their mind to ask numerous questions. I am pleased to know they wanted to learn about this. Alhamdulillah.

I hope I have at the very least of my effort, shape them to be a better muslimah. InsyaAllah.

Scotland

2011-07-17T20:47:00.003+08:00

السلا عليكم ورحمة الله موبركاته

Scotland.
Negara asing yang indah dan permai.
Ada adik adik yang bertanya di mana Scotland?
Lalu, si kakak ini pun bersuara:
Scotland itu di United Kingdom.
Scotland itu seakan Kelantan yang kaya dengan telo percakapan tersendiri.
Scottish itu orangnya.
Kilts itu skirtnya.
Edinburgh itu ibu negerinya.
Dan si adik bertanya lagi :
Scotland itu di mana?
Si kakak hanya mampu tersenyum tanpa berkata.
Usaha sia sia.

Gagal

2011-07-16T13:33:00.003+08:00

السلا عليكم ورحمة الله موبركاته

GAGAL

Satu perkataan yang sangat kita geruni.
Namun, apa benar gagal itu ngeri?
Nyahkan pandangan itu dalam diri.
Tanpa kegagalan kita tidak mengenal diri.
Tanpa kegagalan kita mudah lupa diri.
Allah bisa menguji setiap insan yang Dia miliki.
Siapalah kita untuk meratapi.
Bangkitlah! Mungkin ini jalan terbaik yang diberi.
Kutiplah manisan manisan yang bertaburan di hadapanmu nanti.
Mungkin Allah mahu menguji, mahu kau merintihi.
InsyaAllah, hanya Dia yang mengetahui.
Bangkitlah Kembali!

Adakah patut kamu menyangka bahawa kamu akan masuk Syurga, padahal belum sampai kepada kamu (ujian dan cubaan) seperti yang telah berlaku kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kamu? Mereka telah ditimpa kepapaan (kemusnahan harta benda) dan serangan penyakit serta digoncangkan (oleh ancaman bahaya musuh), sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman yang ada bersamanya: Bilakah (datangnya) pertolongan Allah? Ketahuilah sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat.

Quran [2:214]

Less Whining, More Appreciating

2011-07-04T01:06:00.002+08:00

If you think everything is not coming according to your way, think again.

Are we really not blessed?

Social Contract

2011-07-04T00:54:00.003+08:00

Prof Emeritus Tan Sri Dr Khoo Kay Kim told us to check the real meaning of "social contract". This is where the overseas NGO's misunderstanding came about.

BERSIH

2011-07-04T00:41:00.002+08:00

BERSIH.

A clever idea but not so bright anymore.

A chap in the shopping complex is so eager to join the rally.

Asked what is the motive behind joining it ; it is the talk of the town so he wants to be part of the history.

Asked again on what is the agenda behind BERSIH ; we need to wear yellow shirt. Great.

BERSIH has become more of a trend than a real understanding.

Depicting the majority of our youth that lives in ignorance.

And here we are shouting for transformations.

Applaud.

The Fastest Thing On Earth

2011-06-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought of this?

A Moment In Life

2011-06-22T02:31:00.003+08:00

السلا عليكم ورحمة الله موبركاته

A moment in life.

There is no one to be fooled in here.

Yes, I am afraid of my future. Why not? But I know whatever comes my way is from Allah and I should be grateful for anything that has been planned before me.

But I am afraid, still.

So I pray with all my might that Allah will lead me to a straight path. Help me to change my life to be a person who does not only what has been revealed to Muhammad (pbuh) but understand and love others unconditionally due to you, who live with every steps and breath in the name of Allah and be thankful for all the things in this world.

Coretan Hati Di Malam Hari

2011-06-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Sudah 2 bulan lamanya, coretan hati tidak bertapak di sini.

Kerana sibuk mengejar duniawi, yang tiap saatnya tidak pernah berhenti.

Bersungguh mengetuk sisi kepala demi menggapai yang hakiki.

Tapi dalam alpa menaip di sini, ada lain yang bermain di hati.

Perkasakan hati memacu ukhrawi dibantu oleh kejayaan duniawi.

Mohon Allah membantu keinginanku ini.

Biar berteduh aku dibawah lembayung ciptaanNya, di Padang Masyar nanti.

In The Name of Allah

2011-04-14T10:30:00.003+08:00

Indahnya kasih kerana Allah.

MasyaAllah

I hardly cry when I see a wedding solemnisation of a couple whom I do not know. But, masyaAllah, there's one that made my tears flowing. What a beautiful one, touches the heart of many, when it is made in the name of Allah. Ya Allah, indahnya kurniaan cintaMu pada insan.

Kita Bukan Hanya Meminta

2011-04-03T06:05:00.009+08:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته والسماء

رب اغفر لي وارحمني واجبرني وارفعني وارزقني واهدني وعافني واعف عني

Tuhanku, ampunilah daku dan kasihanilah daku dan tutuplah aib-aibku dan angkatlah darjatku dan kurniakanlah daku rezeki dan berilah daku petunjuk dan sihatkanlah daku dan maafkanlah akan daku.

Mungkin ada antara kita yang tidak tahu berbahasa Arab, hanya akan membaca doa ini ketika duduk antara dua sujud, tapi erti sebernar bacaan itu sebenarnya lebih cantik jika kita fahami kan?

Betapa kita berdoa kepada Allah setiap hari dalam solat, untuk memelihara kita. Jadi, jom la kita sama sama menjaga perhubungan kita dengan Allah, supaya, kita tidak menjadi hamba yang hanya meminta. InsyaAllah.

Ini Kegemaran Kita

2011-03-30T01:10:00.002+08:00

Sementara ada ruang masa, tangan tiba tiba rajin ingin berbahasa. Bahasa ibunda jadi pengantara.

Ada antara kita gemar berbicara. Seperti tuan punya juga. Tapi pernahkah kita terfikir, apa yang kita utara, selalu membawa makna? Sungguh, kerap perkara ini bermain di benak fikiran. Sedih kala memikirkannya. Aku kosong, seperti longsong, tak membawa erti dalam kehidupan.

Ada antara kita gemar membaca. Tidak seperti tuan punya. Tapi, kalau membaca, apa tajuk pilihan si hati kita? Novel cerita? Romantica cinta? Pernah hati tertanya, berapa banyak manusia membaca kitab Illahi dari masa ke masa? Itu novel sempurna, Tuhan siap berbicara. Kalau tak baca, rugi satu nikmat dunia.

Ada antara kita gemar menulis. Seperti tuan punya. Malang, diri tak sempurna, kurang ilmu untuk mencoret isi agama dan juga bangsa. Ya, sedih. Tapi, ada senyuman dalam titis air mata. Ramai kawan antara kita, berjaya mengupas ceritera isu agama, demi menyebar apa yang benar daripada yang dusta. Subhanallah. Ayuh, kita usaha!

Ada antara kita gemar belajar. Tidak seperti tuan punya. InsyaAllah, akan aku usaha! Tinggi memuncak ilmu dunia, bersalut dengan ilmu hari muka. Belajar ilmu tuntutan agama, menjadi pengerak da'wah sedunia. Indah sungguh jika ada yang lengkap pakej ilmunya, kaya ulama'. InsyaAllah, mari usaha!

Ada antara kita gemar menabung. Ada sedikit seperti tuan punya. Wah, banyak duit keperluan dunia. Pengumpul harta. Bagus! Berjimat orangnya, tapikan lebih cantik kalau rajin menderma. Peringatan untuk tuan punya juga. InsyaAllah, membersih harta. Kerana dunia sekarang, penuh riba'. Semua kita harus berwaspada. Ayuh, usaha!

Taking Responsibility

2011-03-21T04:20:00.003+08:00

We must take responsibility for what ever happens. No matter what happens, know and believe that we are in charge. The prophet never blamed others for whatever happened. He never allowed himself to be a victim. As the Qu'ran says:

God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is WITHIN themselves.

[13:11]

Perkenankanlah Ya Allah

2011-03-20T04:58:00.001+08:00

Ya Allah, lindungi dan selamatkanlah kami.

Perkenankanlah Ya Allah.

Allah tidak memberati seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Dia mendapat pahala kebaikan yang diusahakannya dan dia juga menanggung dosa kejahatan yang diusahakannya. (Mereka berdoa dengan berkata): Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yang telah Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kami. Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami dan berilah rahmat kepada kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami; oleh itu, tolonglah kami untuk mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yang kafir.

(Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286)

Hope and Faith

2011-03-13T05:58:00.007+08:00

Can I be afraid of what's coming?

Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported:

The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, the most truthful, the most trusted, told us:"Verily the creation of any one of you takes place when he is assembled in his mother's womb; for forty days he is as a drop of fluid, then it becomes a clot for a similar period. Thereafter, it is a lump looking like it has been chewed for a similar period. Then an angel is sent to him, who breathes the ruh (spirit) into him. This Angel is commanded to write Four decrees: that he writes down his provision (rizq), his life span, his deeds, and whether he will be among the wretched or the blessed.

"I swear by Allah - there is no God but He - one of you may perform the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will outstrip him so that he performs the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire; one of you may perform the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire, till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will overtake him so that he performs the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters therein."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Hope and faith will keep us going. God Willing!

Hadith 19

2011-02-26T08:49:00.003+08:00

Salam.

A beautiful Hadith 19 and a nice article that, insyaAllah, hopefully will help us to be a better Muslim.

Abu al-‘Abbas ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas, radiyallahu anhuma, reported: One day I was behind the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, and he said to me:

"O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you (have need to) ask, ask of Allah; and if you seek help, seek help from Allah.Know that even if the Nation (or the whole community) were to gather together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with something, they would not be able to harm you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded against you.The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."

[Al-Tirmidhi relates this and says: It is a good, genuine Hadith]

Allah recorded the qadar (fate) of all creations 50,000 years before He created the heavens and the earth (Sahih Muslim). In another Sahih Muslim hadith, a man asked the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, whether what we do today is something that has already been recorded or whether it is something that just happens. The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, replied that whatever happens is according to what has already been recorded. The man then asked why he should do anything at all. The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, made a command [not just to the man but to the whole Muslim ummah] to do good deeds – everyone will be guided towards what he has been created for.

Al-qadar can be broadly broken down into two categories:

There are actions that take place which we do not have any control over. We have to surrender to the will of Allah and be patient.

There are actions that take place which we had control over. These events happen as a result of our recklessness, laziness, of not being alert, etc. Even though the minute these things happen they already become qadar, those who are responsible for the actions will be held responsible. Thus, whatever we do, we should do it carefully, completely and to the best of our abilities. For example, construction workers building a site, doctors taking care of patients, driving, etc.

Generally speaking, we are responsible for what we do, whether it is in worldly matters or whether it is in our ibadah. We should always strive to improve ourselves and to constantly tell ourselves that we can do better.

Also, we should avoid things that can be avoided, e.g. avoiding disasters, avoiding trouble, etc. Even in health, we should avoid consuming things which are unhealthy for our bodies – e.g. food which can cause heart diseases (i.e. contains high cholesterol), etc. In other words, we should avoid things that are bad for us, and not just let it happen and then blame it on qadar.

It doesn’t contradict with qadar if someone is sick that he seeks treatment. If we are faced with a problem, we should try our best to solve it or minimise it and not do things which will worsen the situation.

Many Muslims tend to interpret this hadith (on qadar) negatively. We should understand qadarin a positive sense. We should differentiate between things which we don’t have control over and things which we do. Instead of just accepting things that happen as qadar, we should see how we can improve the situation and how we can avoid things which can be avoided. We should accept the fact that we are responsible for whatever we do and the choices we make.

resource: http://fortyhadith.iiu.edu.my/hadith19.htm

I Just Did

2011-02-24T07:04:00.002+08:00

Salam.

You hope not to see the other side of a person.

But you just did.

O Lord, help me to cleanse my heart, for I do not want to have suspicion against anyone.

O Lord, why am I too weak that I sometimes tend to forget about you and your words?

O Lord, thee are my saviour, and to thee whom I seek help from.

O Lord, my eyes is full of tears, crying for you.

O Lord, I turn to you, with heart full of shame.

Forgive me Ya Allah, and please have Mercy on me.

Challenge

2011-02-23T07:39:00.000+08:00

Gimme 6 weeks.

And let us see the results.

People, Life, Sin and Forgiveness.

2011-02-14T05:46:00.001+08:00

Life is a journey, where you meet people from various walk of life.

I try to smile when I am with people. I make friendships along the way.

I keep them as greatest treasures and cherish moments I have with them.

I, being myself, never a perfect God's servant and friend. But....

InsyaAllah,

If hate build up in my heart, I'll try my best to clear it up.

If somebody did wrong to me, I'll try my best to forgive.

If I am angry at someone, I'll try to swallow it as deep as I can.

If I ever hurt a person, I hope I did apologize.

And as if I were to die tomorrow, please forgive me, as I am not the being that you may have possibly thought I am.

The Resignation

2011-02-12T06:18:00.004+08:00

A month passed by. I rarely find times to write in this space.

But today.

Just a a quick historical note.

Hosni Mubarak has resigned. And I will mark this in my calendar.

Maybe a month, a year or perhaps 10 more years, I will ponder upon this moment again. And once the future has turned history, I shall see how this change paints the new Egypt.

Difference

2011-01-11T21:16:00.001+08:00

If I could really make a difference. A distinguish one. Scrap the if. I can make a difference.

Answer

2010-12-07T04:32:00.003+08:00

I asked in the previous post

What's Next?

Here's the answer to it :

CANCELLATION OF EXAMS

( and that was two hours before it starts)

Cool?

Deeply Sorry

2010-12-05T09:39:00.001+08:00

Thanks for everything.

Sorry but I have to turn you down.

Deeply sorry.

Ganbare!!

2010-12-05T00:01:00.004+08:00

Exams coming!!

がんばれ！マジ！

O Allah, I seek help from you in everything I do.

What's Next?

2010-11-30T08:50:00.002+08:00

Exams coming.

{Oh Allah! I ask You for the understanding of the prophets and the memory of the messengers, and those nearest to You.}

Knee length snow in front of our house. Hmm.

Stranded in the university for a night.

University is now closed.

What's next?

A Little Whiter Than Usual

2010-11-27T18:11:00.004+08:00

Falling from the sky,

In the night,

To the earth below.

Snow is finally here. I thought I won't appreciate it any more or less but hey, I kinda like it. Last night , when it falls, I was in school's library. Sitting by the window, watching it showers down, in such a purely manner that I seldom appreciate, covering the surface white. One of my friends who never prefer snow, said, she will remember this night and will forever miss it.

For first timers; the beginning of snow shower in Edinburgh means celebration. Some dance in it, some build snowman, some throw a party, some have snow fight and some others busy praising the Lord while looking at the showers, dropping down, slowly, heavenly.

Walking back home at 2330 hour has never been this comfortable. Very angelic. Very safe. You just know it.

Sunny Edinburgh

2010-11-25T19:15:00.007+08:00

Sorry blog. I've been abandoning you for quite sometime.

Sky is bright today.

Edinburgh is still sunny when some other part of the world enjoying early snow showers. Gotta enjoy the weather before it fades away for 3 months.

As for me, I met my winter snow quite early this year. On 11th Nov. =)

.....

2010-11-22T08:49:00.000+08:00

my life is just like korean dramas.

2010-10-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

Those who can't approach discussion with a basic level of intelligence and maturity shouldn't expect to be taken seriously.

A Weak Heart

2010-10-15T08:57:00.000+08:00

Stop waiting for the ‘right time’ to change. Wake up and address the root of your disobedience …

A Weak Heart.

A Heart Serene

October 22nd - 24th, 2010

Ya Allah ..

2010-10-11T04:53:00.002+08:00

Dear God.

I have been bad these few days. I'm sorry.

Allah, help me since I believe my attempt on this is a big failure.

Familiar Faces

2010-09-02T08:46:00.006+08:00

I stepped out of the car to the guard post.

The guard handed a pass and a blue paper for me and the person whom I am meeting to sign.

Got in the car. Drove to the end of the building. Safely parked.

Nice cooling air. Colonial architecture. Most importantly, the familiar faces.

The six of us walked to the building. And yes, we saw visible smiles from their faces.

Yesterday, we were back in King George V, Seremban.

Students we are still,

but in uniform we are not,

coming back with treasured memories,

in this place we always own.

2NE1 ( As What Amira Would Call It )

2010-08-30T01:02:00.004+08:00

I turned 21 few days ago. I feel old. But old is a new me. I found out that being old is actually kind of cool.

And, thanks a lot for the birthday wishes. They really made my day. And its fun to know good friends trying to be the first to wish. Clock struck 12 am and few messages coming in. =) It was wonderful to understand that kind of friends still do exist.

Few hours of talking. Laughing. I wish we could meet. Just like good old times.

I love birthdays, not because I am being celebrated. It means more than that. Its about friendship. This is the time when I can talk to my friends, be it online or by phone. I got to catch up with them, knows what exactly has happen to their absence in my life. Or rather, it is more of me updating them about my disappearance from their life.

This year, my birthday fell on Nuzul Quran and Ramadhan. All praise be to Allah for this special gifts and I treasure this moment from the Almighty God. And for you, let us make this holy month of Ramadhan a special one. Try to give ourselves a chance to change for the better, for the life He lends us, worldly and in the hereafter.

We shall try to update and upgrade our Iman, trying our level best to perform good deeds and du'a, for Allah loves those who seek His help and being humble towards him. =)

Aisha r.a reported that the Prophet pbuh said : Look for Lailatul Qadr on an odd-numbered night during the last ten nights of Ramadhan. ( Hadith Bukhari )

Verily, We have sent it (this Qur'an) down in the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree). And what will make you know what the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is? The Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is better than a thousand months. Therein descend the angels and the Ruh [Jibril (Gabriel)] by Allah's Permission with all Decrees. (All that night), there is peace (and goodness from Allah to His believing slaves) until the appearance of dawn. (97:1-5)

I Admit

2010-08-29T23:40:00.003+08:00

Ramadhan Mubarak!

Salam.

I admit, I have committed a lot of sins.

I admit, I have made mistakes along the way.

I admit, I am not the best person in this world.

I admit, I am not perfect.

I admit, I was too young to think wisely.

I admit, I was naive that I embarrassed myself.

I admit, I hurt people feelings.

I admit, I was reluctant to follow the truth.

I admit, I changed as time flies.

I admit, I do not want to be the same again.

And for that, I pray.

A New Personal Homepage

2010-08-17T00:31:00.002+08:00

Salam.

Hello World!

Here's my new homepage :

http://www.maziahstapah.co.nr/

This blog will still be in use. I'll continue writing in this space.

The new homepage is just for fun.

Enjoy!

Salam.

Kopi dan Kunci

2010-08-15T23:59:00.004+08:00

Kopi.

Kopi Putih Ipoh.

Ah, I've become a fan just like ayah.

Should stop should stop should stop.

--------------------------------------

One two three .

I've cut down Facebook hours. No more silly status telling people what I do etc. InsyaAllah.

I'm giving my private life a bigger and comfortable locked room. =)

Sometimes we don't have to share everything we do with others because certain things are better left untold. Hence, making them more meaningful.

Toodles.

Till next time, Salam Ramadhan Almubarak.

When I Die...

2010-07-25T20:08:00.003+08:00

Peace Be Unto You And So May The Mercy of Allah And His Blessings.

When I die

When my coffin is being taken out

You must never think

I am missing this world

Don't shed any tears

Don't lament or feel sorry

I'm not falling into a monster's abyss

When you see my corpse is being carried

Don't cry for my leaving

I'm not leaving

I'm arriving at eternal love

When you leave me in the grave

Don't say goodbye

Remember a grave is only

A curtain for the paradise behind

You'll only see me

Descending into a grave

Now watch me rise

How can there be an end

When the sun sets

Or the moon goes down

It looks like the end

It seems like a sunset

But in reality it is a dawn

When the grave locks you up

That is when your soul is freed

Have you ever seen

A seed fallen to earth

Not rise with a new life

Why should you doubt

The rise of a seed named human

Have you ever seen a bucket

Lowered into a well

Coming back empty

Why lament for a soul

When it can come back

Like Joseph from the well

When for the last time

You close your mouth

Your words and soul

Will belong to the world

Of no place no time

RUMI, ghazal number 911

Abandon

2010-07-12T17:14:00.003+08:00

Hello blog.

I've been abandoning you for quite sometimes.

Well, when you thought you have plenty of time, time just flew away and the next thing you knew, you have been forgetting parts of you life routines.

Drop Of..

2010-06-03T05:37:00.002+08:00

Tears.

Stop crying.

You're a big girl now.

Dear Maziah

2010-05-11T04:12:00.003+08:00

I shall say, Inspiration in Action. Summer =)

--------------------

Dear Maziah,

Tomorrow is your first paper for this finals. Know that you have put your effort into it, and now, lets pray that everything will go well under the guidance and blessings of Allah.

If My servants ask you about Me, I am near. I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me.They should therefore respond to Me and believe in Me so that hopefully they will be rightly guided.
(2:186)

Funny isn't it?

2010-05-05T21:34:00.006+08:00

Got this short poem from a page. It made me ponder upon my life, really. Copy and paste it for us to share.

It's funny how £10 looks so big when we take it to the mosque and so small when we take it to the store.

It's funny how an hour serving God seems so long yet so short is the 60-minute spent listening to music, watching movies and playing games.

It's funny how we can't remember the surah but can memorise all the lyrics.

It's funny how laborious it is to read a chapter in the Quran and how easy it is to read 2-300 pages of an academic book.

It's funny how we believe what newspapers write but question what the Quran says.

It's funny how we can't think of anything to say during prayer and don't have any difficulty thinking of things to talk to a friend.

It's funny how we need 2 to 3 weeks to fit an islamic event into our schedule, but can adjust a social event at the last moment.

It's funny how you can laugh at god's laws but not at human-made laws.

It's funny how this life works. Truly funny.

Funny isn't it?

Would you laugh at yourself now?

Travel

2010-04-29T12:15:00.005+08:00

Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and minds) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear? ......

Part of verse [22:46]

May our journey be blessed by Allah. Praying for everything to be made easy and smooth.

InsyaAllah.

Check Points

2010-04-27T04:17:00.000+08:00

Praying that everything will turn out well, insyaAllah. =)

The Plan

2010-04-25T03:45:00.005+08:00

29th April - Tuscany, Italy

01st May - Back to Edinburgh

11th May - Stats Exams

14th May - Actuarial and Financial Maths Exams

18th May - Multivariable Calculus and Analysis A Exams

21st May - Finance and Financial Reporting Exams

22nd May - Eurotrip starts

05th June - Eurotrip ends

07th June - Leaving for Malaysia

08th June - Arrival in KLIA

InsyaAllah.

kids

2010-04-24T21:14:00.003+08:00

I love you sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You made me happy when skies are great,

You never know dear,

How much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.

The Incy Wincy spider,

Climbed up the water spout,

Down came the rain,

And washed poor Incy out,

Out came the sunshine,

And dried up all the rain,

And Incy Wincy spider,

Climbed up the spout again.

Six little ducks,

That I once knew,

Fat ones, Skinny ones, Fair ones too,

But the one little duck,

With the feather on his back,

He led the others,

With a quack, quack, quack.

Ah , kindergarten memories. I miss ya.

Islam And Ego

2010-04-21T17:01:00.008+08:00

"Pride is dissatisfaction with the truth, and belittling the people."

[Hadith in Muslim]

"Indeed, He does not love the proud."

[The Quran - an-Nahl (16):23]

"So enter the gates of Hell to dwell therein. Indeed evil is the abode of the proud.

[ The Qur'an - An-Nahl (16):29]

Routes

2010-04-18T06:17:00.007+08:00

I keep changing . From one to the other.

I am too dependent of the person around me. Easily influenced? I would definitely disagree. I am not giving enough chances to myself to be who I wanted to be. I'm afraid that I will not fit in this world - alone.

But I do reflect upon my own self everyday and ask, is this what you really want in life, Maziah? And my answer always end up with a silence in mind. It's like climbing up to a mountain half way through and stop, not knowing whether to continue or just go back down. Its not the hardest decision to be made yet you are stuck in between. Two routes. The hard and the easy. The temptation to climb till the end and see the beautiful view or to go back to where you have once been, the start. They offer different rewards. Vary in all ways. Tough one.

Ukhwah

2010-04-06T07:19:00.002+08:00

Indahnya ukhwah yang bersaluti tarbiyyah.

Pekenalan dengan solat jemaah muncul ketika di PLKN.

Perkenalan dengan tazkirah hanya hadir ketika di Kolej.

Perkenalan dengan tarbiyyah berterusan akhirnya hadir di Universiti.

Adakah akan aku sia siakan semua petunjuk Allah ini apabila aku sendiri menyedari mungkin esoklah hari mati?

God

2010-02-19T19:30:00.002+08:00

If God brings you to it,
He will bring you through it.
In Happy moments, praise God.
In Difficult moments, seek God.
In Quiet moments, worship God.
In Painful moments, trust God.
In Every moment, thank God.

Taubat

2010-02-16T06:41:00.004+08:00

Mirwana - Aku Tanpa CintaMu

Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku

Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya

Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih

And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins,- and who can forgive sins except Allah.- and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done.

Al- Imran (The Family of Imran) . 3:135

Congregational Prayers

2010-02-11T08:00:00.005+08:00

Quoting from Aqtar's status in Facebook:

The heaviest salat for the hypocrite is that of Isha'a and Fajr and if they knew what was in them they would have attended them even if it meant crawling, and I have a strong desire to order the salat to be established, then order a man to lead the people in salat then I would go with some men carrying bundles of wood to a people not attending the salat and burn their houses on them.

And this is Aqtar's conclusion:

Solat jemaah sangat muakkad... sehingga ada ulama' yang berpendapat wajib. Rasulullah was very upset with those who didn't do that. Kalau anda rasa tidak perlukan Syafaat Rasulullah, then go on and continue to upset him by not attending congregational prayers at the mosque. Ambillah iktibar, terutama bagi kita yang duduk berdekatan dgn masjid.

the blind side

2010-02-08T11:02:00.004+08:00

The Blind Side.
A movie worth watching, a book worth reading, I would definitely recommend.

It is hard to believe the story is actually true. It is a real one. I find it amusing to know someone who are willing to accept stranger in life. Virtuous. In this case, it is a complete stranger. A problematic one indeed. I can only smile to understand about reality.

Kindness and altruistic do exist, still. Maybe I've seen too much immorality going on. Nonsense. Or maybe I nearly forgot that God sent us here to do good to each other.

Inspiring movie, no doubt about it.

These are few quotes from the movie :

Leigh Anne Touhy : Find some time to figure out another bedroom for you.
Michael Oher : This is mine?
Leigh Anne Touhy : Yes sir.
Michael Oher : I never had one before.
Leigh Anne Touhy : What, a room to yourself?
Michael Oher : ...A bed.

Michael:

Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but you are not supposed to question adults. Maybe they know what's best or maybe they don't. It all depends on who you are where you have come from. Courage is tricky if you always do what others tell you to do. Any fool can have courage but honour , that is the real reason you do something or you don't. You should hope for courage and have honour.

Pedoman

2010-01-31T07:54:00.000+08:00

Daripada Aisyah r.a. berkata, aku mendengar Rasulullah saw. bersabda, “Tidak akan berlaku hari qiamat sehingga anak seseorang menjadi punca kemarahan (bagi ibu bapanya) dan hujan akan menjadi panas (hujan akan berkurang dan cuaca akan menjadi panas) dan akan bertambah ramai orang yang tercela dan akan berkurangan orang yang baik dan anak-anak menjadi berani melawan orang-orang tua dan orang yang jahat berani melawan orang-orang baik”

H.R Thabrani

Life So Far

2010-01-21T07:22:00.006+08:00

When I close my eyes I see your pretty smiles.

Stars, stars, finally you are here. Subhanallah. You really made my day. I haven't get to see you for a while in here. Edinburgh has shortages of stars maybe. But seems like you are done with your winter break and tada, you are here again! Huurraaayyy!

I have been stingy these days. I gave up the idea of buying a Leica or Nikon D300. I think the money worth investing than spending. Entah. I've no idea what's been playing in mind until now. I even bought my winter stocks and both of my cupboards are now packed with food. And that's from ASDA delivery. I didn't get a chance (actually, I choose not to take the opportunity) to go out to the city. I am plain lazy. Lazy fat cat they say. Lol.

I've been meaning to buy my little brother a Wii or maybe Xbox. But since that little chap will be going to SASER next month, plan has been officially cancelled. Hence, adik, you have got no chance to play it la since abang will not be staying at home anymore. Sorry adik! Actually, padan muka! Haha. Selamat my money.

So this sem will be random. I mean, I'll be doing a lot of random stuffs. From uni activities, travelling, friends bla bla bla. Ah, maybe I am random. Haha. And I heard there will be many events coming from the Malaysian Societies of various universities. Sounds fun eh? I wanted to go, but wait wait my dear, do you know you have 3 exemption papers to be taken this sem? Yeah, that would explain how enjoyable my life will be . Penat tau tak.

And..., I love my family so much! Terbaikkk la!!! Thousands and millions of kisses, although ayahku selalu menelefonku jam 5 pagi dan emak berskype pada 2 pagi waktu Malaysia. Terbaik la ayah emak!!! Ayah, because of you, I don't need my alarm clock anymore. Praise to God, I can never be more than grateful to be born into this family!

'Ayahku tersayang, maafkan lah aku, jika aku masih selalu menangis'
'Emakku tersayang, maafkan lah aku, jika aku masih selalu menangis'
Kerana aku juga insan biasa bukannya Superman!

p/s I know this post is quite bizarre 'cause I rarely talk about the happenings of my life, but sorry, today I am totally in the mood of doing this. Haha.

the 5 things

2010-01-05T21:35:00.002+08:00

Life is just so wonderful with lovely people around you.

Especially your family.

5 things i love the most this holidays

1. being able to see the faces of my family, everyday.

2. makan together every morning and night.

3. anak buah!!!

4. when you've got to entertain your parents and they laugh at your jokes and story, that's when you feel so fabulous. ultimate faboulos-ity.

5. urghh .. tell me. the food is extremely delicious. emak, mamak, and all ... first class la!

going places

2010-01-01T19:43:00.001+08:00

saudi arabia.
scandinavia.
europe.
korea.

that sums up every single place I'll be visiting this year.
insyaAllah.

hence, dreams come true.

Not Me

2009-12-28T15:17:00.002+08:00

Football is not my life.
Neither do fashion.

That explain why my life rely heavily on slippers. =P

So please do not complaint. Can you?

First Week

2009-12-25T13:05:00.003+08:00

Great week I had so far in Malaysia.

8A's for my younger brother. Alhamdulillah.
Something related to my guitar. Improving =)
Good food. Mak masak sedap!!
This bunch of girls thought I'm in Form 5. Okay, that's cool!
Matchmaking? Wahahahah .. no comment. lol
I'm learning how to service the car. Bosan but at least I know how to..
Met some of my high school teachers. Dikutuk dan dikeji cause I'm back in Malaysia in less than 4 months. haih
Gossiping nights with my favourite aunty. haha
I've no idea how to drive a car now. Nyanyuk dy.
Singapore? Singapura? ...........
"Eh, awak dah kurus ek?" The replied: "That's merely an illusion. Jangan tertipu" =P

finally

2009-12-23T14:01:00.000+08:00

Malaysia .. finally =)
Alhamdulillah

new beginning

2009-12-18T08:24:00.003+08:00

Salam Maal Hijrah

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language.
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.

Salam Awal Muharram.
Happy New Year 1431H/2009

Maher Zain

2009-12-16T09:24:00.005+08:00

It is He Who made the sun to be a shining glory and the moon to be a light (of beauty), and measured out stages for her; that ye might know the number of years and the count (of time). Nowise did Allah create this but in truth and righteousness. (Thus) doth He explain His Signs in detail, for those who understand. (10:5)

Pak Tam

2009-12-15T08:34:00.003+08:00

meet my guitar.
my two month old guitar.

pak tam

God Knoweth

2009-12-11T07:25:00.004+08:00

Called home yesterday.
Ayah text me.
Ayah gave a call.
Called kaklong.
Miss emak.
Told kaklong to tell her that.
Mak sent a message.
"I love you"

Emotionally unstable yesterday.
Back to my normal state today.

But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But God knoweth, and ye know not.

2:216

Down

2009-12-10T03:22:00.004+08:00

This is so far the most terrible moment in my life. And the mind keep thinking :

AM I BEING PAID TO STUDY HERE TO START PANICKING IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS?

I never cried this much after any exams in my life. But now, I think I've felt how it feel to turn down the expectation of your own self, your family, your sponsor and your teacher. I do not need to know the results to know how bad I did just now. I'm just ..........

It makes you start to ponder upon your choice. But who is it to blame if not yourself, right? I've made the decision to decorate my own life. And now, I need to pay for the price.

O Lord, to you I pray, please shower me your mercy and strength for I need it so much right now.

Maybe this is what I need to face as the road I've taken isn't always clear. Sometimes there's torn and rocks trying to stop your way. Sometimes you need to crawl and not walk and sometimes you need to climb although it's steep. Perhaps, this is how my story has been written. And only He knows best.

Alam Barzakh

2009-12-06T07:39:00.007+08:00

Ku Merintih, Aku Menangis,
Ku Meratap, Aku Mengharap,
Ku Meminta Di hidupkan Semula,
Agar Dapat Kembali Ke Dunia Nyata

Perjalanan Rohku,
Melengkapi Sebuah Kembara,
Singgah Di Rahim Bonda,
Sebelum Menjejak Ke Dunia,
Menanti Di Barzakh,
Sebelum Berangkat Ke Mahsyar,
Diperhitung Amalan,
Penentu Syurga Atau Sebaliknya

Tanah Yang Basah Berwarna Merah,
Semerah Mawar Dan Jugak Rindu,
7 Langkah Pun Baru Berlalu,
Susai Talkin Penanda Syahdu,
Tenang Dan Damai Di Pusaraku,
Nisan Batu Menjadi Tugu,
Namun Tak Siapa Pun Tahu Resah Penantianku

Terbangkitnya Aku Dari Sebuah Kematian,
Seakan Ku Dengari,
Tangis Mereka Yang Ku Tinggalkan,
Kehidupan Disini Bukan Suatu Khayalan
Tetapi Ia Sebenar Kejadian

Kembali Oh Kembali,
Kembalilah Kedalam Diri,
Sendirian Sendiri,
Sendiri Bertemankan Sepi,
Hanya Kain Putih Yang Membaluti Tubuhku,
Terbujur Dan Kaku,
Jasad Terbujur Didalam Keranda Kayu

Ajal Yang Datang Dibuka Pintu ,
Tiada Siapa Yang Memberi Tahu,
Tiada Siapa Pun Dapat Hindari,
Tiada Siapa Yang Terkecuali,
Lemah Jemari Nafas Terhenti,
Tidak Tergambar Sakitnya Mati,
Cukup sekali Jasadku Untuk Mengulangi

Jantung Berdenyut Kencang,
Menantikan Malaikat Datang,
Mengigil Ketakutan Gelap Pekat Dipandangan,
Selama Ini Diceritakan
Kini Aku Merasakan
Di alam Barzakh Jasad Dikebumikan

Di Alam Barzakh - Far East

Precious

2009-12-04T03:03:00.004+08:00

Precious. Try to have a look at the movie. A great one. Inspiring indeed. Well, Oprah is involved in the project and that should explain. I encountered this song in the movie. It is one of the soundtracks.

Something very strange and mystic happened to me

Something realistic

And as weird as can be

Something that I feared

Somehow is endeared to me

And what a funny feeling

Odd and yet so true

Did a thing like this Ever happen to you?

Did you ever see a dream walking?

Well, I did!

Did you ever hear a dream talking?

Well, I did!

Did you ever have a dream thrill you with

Will you be mine?

Oh it’s so grand

and it’s too, too divine

Did you ever see a dream dancing?

Well, I did!

Did you ever see a dream romancing?

Well, I did!

Did you ever find heaven right in your arms

saying I love you I do?

Well, the dream that was walkin’

and the dream that was talkin’

and the heaven in my arms was you

Did you ever see a dream walking?

Well, I did!

Did you ever hear a dream talking?

Well, I did!

Did you ever have a dream thrill you

with Will you be mine?

Oh it’s so grand

and it’s too, too divine

Did you ever see a dream dancing?

Well, I did!

Did you ever see a dream romancing?

Well, I did!

Did you ever find heaven right in your arms

saying I love you I do?

Well, the dream that was walkin’

and the dream that was talkin’

and the heaven in my arms was you

No One Laugh

2009-12-03T08:27:00.006+08:00

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they're mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say "We've got some bad new, sir,"
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood

Regina Spektor: Laughing With

This is the first Regina's song that I like. Simple, because it makes me think about God. I'll probably say, she's trying to point out that everybody thinks God is so cruel for putting people through all these horrible things. But God can show us fun and happiness too, just no one remembers that in times of bad. I think the whole idea of God, to some people is a joke now a days. All the God jokes and such. And I think most parts of the song is talking about how when you're put into serious situations like those, you're not laughing anymore, what do you turn to if not God?

The Change

2009-11-30T09:20:00.004+08:00

It is only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

P/S - Eid Mubarak everyone, tho its a bit too late I think. Cheerios.

The Way I Am

2009-11-26T09:38:00.004+08:00

-charlyne yi and michael cera from paperheart-

As I sit here typing, I am listening to “The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson. I am realizing that this song resonates with us for a reason. There is something powerful about letting someone in. It grows us. It makes the bond between two people that much more meaningful, be it between family members, friends, your partner, or anyone you like. It shifts the basis of acceptance from what we do (are we perfect, we are beautiful, are we funny…) to simply who we are. Give it a listen.

Sunshine

2009-11-16T20:17:00.005+08:00

It was kinda sunny today. At least, I can see the sun doing her job. How lovely! Subhanallah.

I am counting days for both Malaysia and exams. Meeting my family in dreams is almost normal now. Miss you guys so much.

I enjoyed the stay in campus so far. Nice people, beautiful lake and whatnot.

Try to pick up guitar now. Cheap one. But at least, he can accompany me whenever I feel bored. The name is Pak Tam. Because he's shining-ly black.

The Misconception

2009-11-11T08:03:00.002+08:00

I was shocked to read an article from a blog about Islam. Not that I know everything about my religion nor did I am a scholar to judge what they said. It is just that, as a Muslim, this is just not what's happening.

Sembahyang Kearah Mekah

Patung Allah dipasang di Kabah bersama-sama dengan semua patung lainnya. .... read more

Tangisan

2009-11-04T03:24:00.003+08:00

Orang yang takut akan neraka Allah,

sentiasa menangis walaupun belum membuat dosa.
Dan sesungguhnya cinta Allah itu kekal abadi.

fact

2009-10-25T06:02:00.003+08:00

This is a newly discovered fact.
"Kentut is a vector"
Agree?

the time

2009-10-23T07:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, in life, all you need is a big knock in you head to realise of all the precious things you've got. Some other times, you just need a hard break to understand what you actually been up to.

and here, finally

2009-10-21T08:10:00.004+08:00

finally.

and i'm finally here.
the place i wanted to go.
the people i want to be with.
the life that i dreamt of.
the responsibilities i hold.
the moment i hope to treasure.
the nights when i cried.
the time of homesickness.
the friendship i'm building.
the reality that i have to face.
the trouble that seems sweet.
the love i learn to take.
the heart that starts to understand.
the mind who seeks answer.
the god who's closer than vein.
the trust i'm carrying.
the days that fade so fast.
and i'm falling for all of them.
they are like angles.
spreading wings protecting me.
beneath them.
and i smile.
and i praise.
to Him.
the most gracious.
the most merciful.

Important Thing

2009-09-11T21:34:00.003+08:00

The important thing is this:
To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.

Charles DuBios

berkilo kilo

2009-09-07T22:26:00.002+08:00

30 KG

luggage je dah 7 kilo. haih.
buku 10 kilo.
makanan 5 kilo.
stationery 5 kilo.
baju? takkan 3 kilo je?

To My Dear Sister and Chaletmate

2009-08-31T23:52:00.004+08:00

24th August. Nearly a week ago.

To my sister,
Mufizah Stapah Salleh.

1. Who knows what she wanted in life.
2. Who always give me treats and money. Uhh, I like.
3. Who owns a cat that sometimes annoyed me. But whatever la kan.
4. Who is a very caring sister.
5. Who is very sensitive.
6. Who is very choosy+fussy in everything. Food, Clothes, Shoes .. you name it!
7. Who eats and makes an annoying sound. Weird tho. It only happened dekat rumah =P
8. Who knows to make lame jokes.
9. Whom I think have a very strong heart and intuition.
10. Who knows how to make me feel guilty.
11. Who is very good in managing money. You guys should see the budget sheet that she has. She records every inflow and outflow weyh.
12. Who drives the car quite fast. Hebat hebat.
13. Who is allergic to dust. So she can't sweep the floor. Haha.
14. Who is an independent lass. =)
15. Who will be working with PNB in the future. InsyaAllah.
16. Who thinks Law is an interesting subject.
17. Who loves football while I'm not.
18. Who wrote a post about me in her blog. =)

Thanks Kaklong for everything =) Just realised about the post. Sorry. Eh, nice to have you home. Will be waiting for you in Scotland. Haha.

And it was 4 days ago. Yes. But I've just realised about it.

To my chaletmate ,
Abyan Syazwani Mashuri.

who whole-heartedly always bear with my craziness,
who cooked for me rendang and spaghetti tuna,
who loves Korean so much,
who introduced me to Kpop on the first day of college,
who recites Yasin nearly every subuh,
whose mother is very cool,
whose father talk about economics in the car,
who knows my kind of musics,
who understands the kind of guy I'll attracted to,
who always hangout with me in my room,
who has many admirers ( whom she dislike ),
who shares the same bathroom with me in the college,
who very rajinly clean the toilet until shiny shiny,
who was my Maths, IELTS and Physics classmate,
who has a very interesting pink shoes,
who will be my future unimate,
who will be wasting another 3 years with me,
who listens to my lame jokes and don't laugh,
who wished me Happy Birthday in her blog.

That is so sweet Byan. And yeah, thanks for the Perhentian picture. Tho ugly, that's me =) And let's pray so that we'll be flying to Heriot-Watt together =) so that you can cook me rendang this Raya!!! =P

A Great Soul

2009-08-30T01:19:00.002+08:00

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

Do I Still Have The Strength?

2009-08-24T18:06:00.003+08:00

Shocked. That's the word. How can it be?
Do I still have the strength?
Sometimes we just don't expect things to go this way.
And I am certainly have to be positive with this test.
God is trying me. To see how am I handling it.
Alhamdulillah. And I hope I will have the strength.

mencari sponsor

2009-08-23T21:50:00.003+08:00

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms,

Re: Requesting For Sponsorship

Quran Indonesia Mariam =)

MacBook Pro 13 inch

Nikon D90

Taylor Acoustic/Electric Guitar

ini ialah impian. =)
sebelum fly harus dapatkannya ..huhu
ada sesiapa yang nak sponsor? =P

current mood: emo lalu menulis post yang tak membantu kehidupan sesiapa pun.

Regards,
yours truly

tired !!!!

2009-08-22T18:30:00.001+08:00

I'M TIRED OF ALL THESE CRAP.

Bila baru boleh release ? =(

yet another masalah

2009-08-21T18:38:00.003+08:00

Arrghh .. what is happening??????
I need a release now!!!!
Tomorrow is the final date for accommodation...
Why aren't they understand??
And now, I have to go through adjustment?
Confussseeedddd =(

Heriot-Watt here I Come

2009-08-21T12:30:00.004+08:00

Why am I choosing Heriot-Watt over City University?

I myself am not so clear of the exact reasons. Some of the text messages I've got urging me to study at City. And I'm sorry that I'm not. Perhaps, this is what I want, ever since I started my A Levels. Nothing odd about the decision. At least I view it that way.

I still remember pasting my world map on the wall and stick my post-it note exactly on Edinburgh, with 'Heriot-Watt here I come' phrase wrote on it.

A decision hard to make

2009-08-21T01:29:00.004+08:00

Yes you are holding an unconditional offer at Cass.

And that's the beginning of a chaotic story in my life.
A decision hard to make.

Moments I'll Remember

2009-08-17T00:14:00.004+08:00

The family was cooking together in the kitchen. Suddenly, a P. Ramlee's song was aired on the radio. Then, mak came out with the twist moves of the 60's .. and here we go. Ayah, adik and abang joined to make some 'swing'. They looked great.. The kitchen turned into a retro club.. haha. Everybody was in their best dance moves, even the one who's holding the ladle ... and I am sure to miss this and many other moments in a coming few months.

The lame jokes Ayah always has for us at home.
Mak's fear face when I'm driving.
The fight with Kaklong that will only last for a second.
The snoring effects of Abang when he's sleeping.
Adik's all-time-messy-never-clean-room.
The punching and kicking action with Abang in the kitchen.
The evening chat at the orchard with Mak and Ayah.
and many other unlisted things ....

Hope

2009-08-16T15:23:00.003+08:00

Hope the rainbow will shine.
Hope Azwan will be fine.
InsyaAllah.

Let's pray for him.
Let our loves flood him with hopes.

None of you truly believes ( in Allah and His religion ) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself

Al Bukhari & Muslim

learning to deal

2009-08-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

“ You have to learn to walk. You have to learn to talk. You have to wear that totally ridiculous hat your grandma bought you. You have no say in the matter. And when you get a little older, even though you get to choose your hats, you don’t get to choose what they put in those meatballs in the cafeteria, or when to fall in love. Sometimes things happens and you just have to deal. ”

via: livethroughthisandyouwon'tlook

It wasn't a joke

2009-08-13T00:40:00.004+08:00

It wasn't a joke.
No it's not.
I mean it.

My guitar.
And the wedding.

A man without trust is a man without faith.
And a man who does not fulfill his promises is a man without faith.
HADITH OF AHMAD IBN HANBALON THE AUTHORITY OF ANAS IBN MALIK.

Dear Friends

2009-08-11T20:23:00.004+08:00

Thanks Fred for brighten up my day. You are so cute !!! Haha

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.

So cheer up. Be positive. About life, about yourself, about the world, and about the people around you. And friends, remember, I'll always be there for you when you need anyone. Even when I am busy. Or sleeping. And yes, I mean it seriously.

she's a guy

2009-07-29T22:33:00.002+08:00

random post .. very.

she's a guy .. the name is chris crocker
and it freaks me out !!!! haha

antara lahir dan mati

2009-07-28T12:10:00.004+08:00

" Lahirnya manusia disambut dengan azan, matinya manusia diiringi dengan solat. "

Sebagaimana pantasnya masa antara azan dan solat, begitulah singkatnya hidup ini.

luluh hati

2009-07-25T11:03:00.003+08:00

Kepulangan hari ini sungguh tidak menyenangkan hati.
Kita mencari yang terbaik buat semua.
Tapi kadang kala perbuatan ita disalah erti dan tafsirnya.
Mungkin ketabahan dan doa saja yang mampu menolong hati sebagai senjata.